What a big life event is like BEFORE AND AFTER you find body peace and self-love.
I got married two weeks ago and it was one of the most amazing weekends to date. I know most people say their wedding was one of the greatest days but there is almost always an underlying “but” that we don’t voice. Often the bride has dieted for months before the big day and is having a mini or mega body image crisis. There can be stress over how she looks in the pictures, shame for eating a big piece of cake or worries over whether or not her new husband thought she looked beautiful enough.
You might think the great event of committing your life to someone else would far outweigh the thoughts of physical imperfections and worthiness but in our society is often is not the case. Wedding magazines include diets and workout programs to get rid of that “bra fat” or “bat wings” so you look perfect in your dress. We are spoon fed the idea that getting married means needing to lose weight, I’ve even heard dress shop attendants asking their customers how much weight they plan on losing before the wedding like it’s a given. Women don’t want to admit that these things are important to them during a time meant for much deeper and more meaningful emotions but stress over our weight is almost always on our shoulders during these times when we are going to be in the spotlight.
I have experienced things both ways; I have been an obsessed dieter that was more worried about what she looked like in photos than whether she was having a good time or not. I cared more about how I looked than how I felt. And now after coaching myself into a new way of thinking and acting I have experienced events completely in the moment, unaware that there was even a camera in the room. I have lived through important days where I haven’t thought once about my weight, body or looks and it is so damn freeing.
I am here to show you a before and after, it’s a little different than you’re used to but I want to reveal the types of changes a woman can experience when she gives up the dieting mentality and finds true freedom and inner peace in herself.
I will show an image from my wedding and I will narrate what I would have thought during my dieting years and how I think about it now. I still remember my own old thought patterns so when I see a photo now I know what I would have thought back then and I am going to share with you the changes that I have experienced that can’t be captured on a roll of film.
Before: I went shopping today and found my wedding dress. I really loved it when I saw it but when I realized that it fit and it was a size 10 it really took the wind out of my sails. I remember when I was almost fitting into size 2 jeans with nothing hanging out. I am definitely going to have to wear Spanx because this dress is pretty fitted and accentuates the extra weight I am carrying in my stomach. Ugh the pictures are going to look horrible. I am going to go on a diet tomorrow so I can at least go down a size by the time the wedding comes, then I’ll be able to get excited about all of this.
After: I found my wedding dress today and I LOVE it! It is so me, a little bit hippy while still giving the wedding dress vibe. I like the vintage look and I hardly had to get it altered at all! It fits pretty well just as it is.
Before: Ugh, those arms! I should have gotten a dress with sleeves. I can’t post any of these photos never mind hang them in my house. Why didn’t I work out harder before the wedding??
After: God, do I love that man or what?
Before: My arms look so fat. I hate that crease above my elbow, maybe she can photoshop that? Why didn’t I put my fur over my shoulders. I hate my arms.
After: What a great photo. Damn, my hair looks so good, I love how it turned out.
Before: Why wasn’t I sucking in for this shot? Yep, definitely should have gotten sleeves and I can’t believe I didn’t wear Spanx. Why did I think any of these photos would be good?
After: I look so happy! What a great shot.
Before: I do not look anything like I used to, why did I let myself go? I just got married and I already look like I’ve given up. I definitely need to start another diet tomorrow. Hmm.. which one should I do, probably should get rid of the carbs.
After: Dang, I look like a real grown ass woman! Wow, that’s awesome. I always thought I looked so young but I really came into my own today. And geez, that is one good looking guy I’ve landed.
It’s amazing how a shift in mindset can change the way you see yourself and the world. Finding peace in your body and with who you are is THE answer, not dieting, not restricting and definitely not self hate.
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